In search of ME...........

Inspite of being surrounded by all my friends, spending lots of time with them, talking with them for hours together...i feel something's missing...its been more than a month nw...there's something..don't know wht...that's making me sad, very sad...I'm smiling, cracking jokes, having a wonderful time but deep inside me there's a certain void...a vacuum...each smile seems pretentious...I fail to understand whats gone wrong...exteriorly everything is so very perfect...but underneath it all...i don't know...I really don't know..I've never been so vague about myself...but this time its like i've no idea...I need to get myself back...the real me seems lost...totally, completely lost!! :( :(