In search of ME...........

Inspite of being surrounded by all my friends, spending lots of time with them, talking with them for hours together...i feel something's missing...its been more than a month nw...there's something..don't know wht...that's making me sad, very sad...I'm smiling, cracking jokes, having a wonderful time but deep inside me there's a certain void...a vacuum...each smile seems pretentious...I fail to understand whats gone wrong...exteriorly everything is so very perfect...but underneath it all...i don't know...I really don't know..I've never been so vague about myself...but this time its like i've no idea...I need to get myself back...the real me seems lost...totally, completely lost!! :( :(

Fit again...

15th Aug 08
Ah...such a dreadful day...couldnt enjoy India's independence.for here i was fighting my own bacteria and viruses!! :(
i woke up with a terrible stomach ache...the poor throat was already suffering...
tried to tackle the throat first so drank a glass of hot milk...alas! the stomach had got worse..out it all came..
i guess my entire GIT had got infected...my family physician was on a holiday so all i did was wait(decided against any of the self medications)..;)
by the afternoon my pulse was racing...i caught hold of the thermometer...it showed a reading of 100..damn!!
aai and papa were worried.papa kept on mentioning - such a weak immunity you have, cant you take care...yeah so my defence mechanism wasnt functioning properly..but i knew everything was going to be right soon...
till night all i had was half a glass of pomegranate juice and an apple..wow..
and then i fell asleep!!!

16th Aug 08
yesterday's gone..i'm feeling like myself again..all hale and hearty..my immunity's fine...there's a bit of the weariness but its gonna disappear soon..
its rakhi today...akshu' wanting me to tie on the rakhi since morning...
will do that too..got to get a bit ready(hehe)
time to celebrate...
bbye to all those viruses and bacteria...thanx for visiting...but mind it i dont want you again...not for some time now!!!

Dil maange More...:)

13th Aug 08
Now tht i decided to take things in a relaxed way...i knew i needed to breathe in some fresh air...the pollution nauseates me and i feel sick all the time..so me, aai n akshu went out for an evening stroll.

It being the rainy season there was greenery all around and i simply marvelled at the verdant fields...but one thing that caught my sight and inspired me to go out walking everyday were the pretty peacocks...who were busy biting at the grass and calling out to each other..kuhuhu..kuhuhu...
This was such a treat for the eyes, the ears and the soul that i couldnt help but feel elated.The tranquility filling the surroundings was awesome!!!
There's nothing better than nature...

Soon me and akshu waved the peacocks gudbye, eager to see them the next day!!!Aai
was smiling seeing our happy faces.
Life i now believe is so full of surprises...and the heart just keeps asking for more...;):)

The change is here!!!

12th Aug 08
"So you finally told him tht u wont continue doing this CR thing??"
"yeah..he didnt agree though"
"now what??"
"i dont care...its over from my side."
Richa had observed me all these days..worked up, tensed and she saw me today...satisfaction on my face...she simply grinned.

We went to Khushbu's place tht same day and while returning back it started raining.
The rain lashing violently...i couldnt see who or what came in front of me..i just went on driving...getting wet, forgetting that i had a sore throat..i drove on and on..
I had my raincoat but then didnt feel a bit like wearing it...i wanted the rain to soak me...i felt free...free from all the hassles, the invisible chains tht had kept me bound fell off and there i was like a carefree bird..soaring high in the skies...following my heart.
Rules no longer mattered!