Fit again...

15th Aug 08
Ah...such a dreadful day...couldnt enjoy India's independence.for here i was fighting my own bacteria and viruses!! :(
i woke up with a terrible stomach ache...the poor throat was already suffering...
tried to tackle the throat first so drank a glass of hot milk...alas! the stomach had got worse..out it all came..
i guess my entire GIT had got infected...my family physician was on a holiday so all i did was wait(decided against any of the self medications)..;)
by the afternoon my pulse was racing...i caught hold of the thermometer...it showed a reading of 100..damn!!
aai and papa were worried.papa kept on mentioning - such a weak immunity you have, cant you take care...yeah so my defence mechanism wasnt functioning properly..but i knew everything was going to be right soon...
till night all i had was half a glass of pomegranate juice and an apple..wow..
and then i fell asleep!!!

16th Aug 08
yesterday's gone..i'm feeling like myself again..all hale and hearty..my immunity's fine...there's a bit of the weariness but its gonna disappear soon..
its rakhi today...akshu' wanting me to tie on the rakhi since morning...
will do that too..got to get a bit ready(hehe)
time to celebrate...
bbye to all those viruses and bacteria...thanx for visiting...but mind it i dont want you again...not for some time now!!!

Dil maange More...:)

13th Aug 08
Now tht i decided to take things in a relaxed way...i knew i needed to breathe in some fresh air...the pollution nauseates me and i feel sick all the time..so me, aai n akshu went out for an evening stroll.

It being the rainy season there was greenery all around and i simply marvelled at the verdant fields...but one thing that caught my sight and inspired me to go out walking everyday were the pretty peacocks...who were busy biting at the grass and calling out to each other..kuhuhu..kuhuhu...
This was such a treat for the eyes, the ears and the soul that i couldnt help but feel elated.The tranquility filling the surroundings was awesome!!!
There's nothing better than nature...

Soon me and akshu waved the peacocks gudbye, eager to see them the next day!!!Aai
was smiling seeing our happy faces.
Life i now believe is so full of surprises...and the heart just keeps asking for more...;):)

The change is here!!!

12th Aug 08
"So you finally told him tht u wont continue doing this CR thing??"
"yeah..he didnt agree though"
"now what??"
"i dont care...its over from my side."
Richa had observed me all these days..worked up, tensed and she saw me today...satisfaction on my face...she simply grinned.

We went to Khushbu's place tht same day and while returning back it started raining.
The rain lashing violently...i couldnt see who or what came in front of me..i just went on driving...getting wet, forgetting that i had a sore throat..i drove on and on..
I had my raincoat but then didnt feel a bit like wearing it...i wanted the rain to soak me...i felt free...free from all the hassles, the invisible chains tht had kept me bound fell off and there i was like a carefree bird..soaring high in the skies...following my heart.
Rules no longer mattered!

This isnt insomnia??

Lately i've been losing a lot of sleep over my studies(ha..ha).
The mind seems to enjoy working overtime these days(i somehow dont find the work it does acceptable)i wouldnt mind if my mind did something creative but cramming up wordlists and doing math problems isnt actually my cup of tea/coffee..whatever!
sadly i dont have many options(..read any??)

the actual problem is tht i havnt been able to stick to one thing(very fickle)..as i pick up my PSM book, i think of chest physio...but as soon as i complete a part of the breathing exercises...i hear my barron's calling me(damn)...
this is just the tip of the iceberg.
i've never ever shirked my responsiblities and have been equally aware of my duties.
being the class representative for the past two years i have been too obedient, too polite, too respectful. but c'mon everyone needs a break.
these days i've been caring less about those around me, losing my patience, my sanity and last but not the least my precious sleep!!
i even gave up writing poetry..no feelings, no emotions, no words!!

well, the thought process doesnt stop..so i've all the solutions at hand..
will be quitting the post i held for 2 years[..i must mention tht long time ago i did enjoy it..cant deny its perks :)]now's the time to hand over the ship to sumbody else and be one of the crew.happy sailing:)

i'll try concentrating on my course books as the dreadful exams are looming large. come sept. the faculty would be ready to pounce on us poor souls.

and finally abt handling the main exam..i believe i can manage that too.
hopefully with less burden on my shoulders all my tensions will come to an end,
i'd stop worrying unnecessarily and life wud be better again[life already seems a bit better..i penned down a poem recently:):)]
umm..so everything's sorted out..good.

one last question...will all the above let me take a good night sleep or will i continue suffering from what u call insomnia???

p.s - insomnia: a condition of being unable to sleep.
i guess i desperately need a few soporific lectures..(sighs)

All's well now!!!

HEADLINE: THE MIND IS GRACIOUS IN DEFEAT!!!
:) :) :)

Peering through the window
I see 'you',waving goodbye
A pall of gloom descends as you disappear!

Life continues at the same pace even as
the heart stays bereft of emotions...

My mirror eyes me solemnly
And I tend to look away, still sad,
unwilling to accept the unwarranted lack of cheer!

Dreams are offering me company
while hope doesnt allow me any solitude...

Then this sudden downpour from nowhere,leaves me drenched
After which the sun shines all bright again
drying away each and every tear

Thus overwhelmed by nature's own blessings
emerges from the shadows,a very new & resurgent 'me'...